Whispered Wanderings

It’s always lurking there
wrapping its invisible claws around me
holding me captive to my fear.
How I struggle with not being able to know
what tomorrow will bring!
A leftover from my childhood
filled with uncertainty, I know: what mood
will they be in today?
Will they yell, will they hit,
or will they love?

Still can’t stand not knowing
what a day will bring.
It eats me up inside
leaving me empty, with a hunger
that cannot be sated, and
believe me I try.
Food can’t fill it
Therapy couldn’t fill it
Becoming a Mom couldn’t fill it.

Doomed to remain empty
I shall begin to embrace the void and
instead of trying to fill it
with all the wrong things:
it’s time to try filling it
with love of Self:
something no one
can ever take away.

klm
12/4/24