Whispered Wanderings

I wonder now who hurt him first,
that kid who bullied me.

His actions shaped who I became;
set in motion my future.

Convinced of my unworthiness
even when he was no longer around,

I took his place and bullied myself:
Kept myself down on the ground.

Then settled for whatever scraps I could get;
forgot I’d ever had dreams of my own…

Let them fade away with the girl I once was,
like Summer fades into dismal Fall.

I’ll find her again, that girl I used to be,
who lives and breathes somewhere inside.

I feel her sometimes, in random moments of joy,
leaping and dancing in her hidden heart-place.

Hear her urging me to join in her dance;
her longing for me to sing her secret songs.

klm
2/23/24